Picking Up The Pieces
by HidesBehindClosedDoors
Summary: Post Mockingjay. Pre Epilogue. My version of how Peeta comes to grips with the hijacking and Katniss learns to live again. After all a Kat always lands on her feet, even those named after a bird. LOL. M for safe.
1. Chapter 1

I haven't left the house. I haven't even left the kitchen except to go to the small bathroom a few steps off from it. I'm in the same clothes I left the capitol in. What I do is sit by the fire. Stare between the unopened letters piling up on the mantel and the fire clawing its way up the chimney. I barely move from my chair. The rest of the house looms cold and empty and dark. I have no visitors –accept from Sae who visits daily to make sure I eat –and I didn't want any, without having Prim or even my mother or gale or the old non hijacked Peeta, life seemed pointless and I would much rather have had the flames swallow me on the terrible day they consumed my sisters few remains after the second explosion. There was nothing left for me here anymore, not a single reason for me to be here. It had been at least a week and yet I was no longer keeping up with any dates, there would be no point in it. Just as there was no point in anything.

It's funny how not long ago I was fighting to survive, even killing others to do so, and now, now I just wanted to give up because everything I was fighting for is gone, there's no one left I care about. I don't remember falling asleep I only remember screaming out as the faces of people who died at least in part because of me, flash through my mind; Cinna, Rue, Cato, Clove, Foxface, Thresh, Glimmer, Marvel, Madge, President Snow, Finnick, Mags, Wiress, President Coin, Boggs, so many others but most importantly my baby sister, my Prim, the girl I had swore to always protect and she was dead. Because of me.

At that moment the door opened, I didn't bother looking, It would only be Sae coming to make dinner or breakfast or lunch, I honestly didn't know what time it was, the window shutters were down, like always so there was no way for me to tell. I was wrong though, it wasn't Sae, and instead it was someone I never expected to show her face in District 12. A pair of wide set brown eyes bored into my own, trying to figure out if I'm actually looking at her and not into space. Her shaved dark hair had grown to her chin in the time I hadn't seen her.

"So are you going to say hello or just sit there like you seen a ghost." As always she was full of attitude and I had to admit that I had missed it.

"Hello Johanna." I small smile fell into place on my face, shocking the hell out of me. Maybe I just needed someone who could give me a kick in the ass and get me to wake up, which I was pretty sure what Johanna was here for.

"Oh, so you can speak. The Mockingjay has not lost her voice." I winced at her reference to me being the mocking jay as that was what started this whole charade.

"Oh get a grip girl. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and show everyone you're not going to be the next Annie." I started to get angry at her accusations.

"Why are you here?" My voice was cold, even though Johanna and I no longer hated each other, I was under no impression she liked me.

"I told you once that there was no one I cared about left and unfortunately for myself I started caring about you. So like a good friend I came here to knock this catatonic shit on the head and prepare you for Peeta's return. That and the fact the Doc said you need someone to keep an eye on you. So voila, here I am." I think that was the longest speech I ever heard her say and I couldn't get my head around most of it.

"I'm glad you're here, I really am." Then the rest of what she said hit me. "Wait? Peeta's coming back?" She rolled her eyes and let out a long sigh as she looked at me, really looked at me before bending down in front of me so she could look me in the eye, like what I used to do with Prim.

"He'll be back in a few weeks as long as he carries on getting better at the rate he has been." Her voice was soft and she looked at me with a mixture of pity and frustration.

"Oh." It was all I could say. I had mixed feeling about the whole thing, excited, nervous, hopeful, scared. I just couldn't tell which emotions were stronger.

"Okay that's it. Katniss get your lazy ass into the shower and clean yourself up, then we're going into town and you are going to get your life back in some way or another. Wallowing around isn't going to bring her back. Can you imagine what she'd say to you if she saw you like this?" I knew she was right but the point is that Prim can't see me like this because she's dead and I'll never see her again.

"She won't see me like this Johanna. You know why." The little energy I had gotten when she walked in left immediately, leaving me to sag back into the chair, a groan of frustration left her lips before she left, slamming the door behind her. She would be back because one of the few things I had learnt about Johanna was that she never gave up. My eyes drooped closed and I must have fallen back asleep because next thing I knew I was in the forest, _my_ forest, not the games but the place I had spent time hunting in with my father and with Gale, the place I felt safest, the only place I ever used to smile. In front of me stood Prim but she wasn't how I remembered her. The skirt and blouse with the duck tail, her blonde braids, the easy smile and happy shining blue eyes were gone. In front of me was my sister with her hair loose and golden, wearing a white dress, a sad smile on her face and eyes full of pity. I felt myself land on my knees in front of her just staring up at her, as wet trails fell down my cheeks. She opened her mouth and her voice was there wrapping me in its warmth.

"Wake up Katniss. Go about your life and bring light back to the district, they miss you. Your attitude, your hard to come by smiles, your hunting, your strength, you are there Mocking Jay, even now the war is over. They need you to show them that everything will be okay."

"But it wont. Because your not here and I'm all alone and it's my entire fault. I'm sorry, so sorry." Her pale hand reached out and cupped my cheek.

"No. It's not. You have always done everything in your power to keep me safe. You're not alone. You'll never be alone, you still don't realize the effect you can have on people and I'll always be with you. Right here." She moved her hand to where my heart is and as I looked down, where my mocking jay pin was. Then her hand started to fade as did the rest of her.

"NO! PRIM! COME BACK! DON'T LEAVE ME!" I awoke screaming for my sister and finally allowed myself to break down, to let out everything I was holding inside of me, once the sadness eased it was replaced by anger and I found myself throwing anything and everything I could get my hands on. That's how Johanna found me. Screaming and throwing things before slumping to the ground. She just stood against the wall smirking.

"Well it's an improvement that's for sure." Before walking over and helping me up but instead of my legs wobbling like I expected, they were strong and supported me, my back was straight and my head was high. Dream Prim was right, I needed to stop this right now, I needed to be strong and get ready to fight my next battle. The battle of bringing _my_ Peeta back.

"Go clean yourself up. I'll sort this mess out." She looked at the mess and sighed dramatically but she didn't really seem to mind, at least that's what her eyes showed so I did as I was told.

I found myself entranced by the amount of dirt that came off of my skin whilst I stood under the shower spray, my still sore skin ached in protest and I knew I would have to start putting the necessary creams given to me by the hospital on it. Now I actually let myself start to feel, I noticed how every muscle in me ached and I took a few of the morphling I found with the creams before changing into a clean pair of clothes. Simple hunting trousers and a black long sleeve top, I went to leave before turning back and placing my mocking jay pin over my heart and clipping the locket Peeta gave me around my neck before quickly braiding my hair. When I glanced into the mirror I almost looked normal, only the few scars and shadows under my eyes showed the torment from my past. My eyes were the most shocking though, no longer were they just unfriendly, they were cold and deadly but behind them was a glimmer of pain that no one left would notice, the only ones who could read me easily were Prim, Gale and Peeta. None were here and right now it was a good thing, I could fool the others that I was strong and well, they wouldn't know the difference and so with a newly steeled resolve I headed down the stairs ready to face the citizens of District 12.


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks had been and gone since Johanna arrived and I'd finally gone back to being me, well almost. The pain of all the people I lost would never leave but I was getting better at dealing with my scars, both emotional and physical. I owed a lot of it to my friend though, the only person who actually bothered to come all the way to district 12 to help me through my grief, she was the one who taught me how to deal and get past all the self hatred. Johanna had told me stories of how it felt when she lost the people she cared about and how she got through it, by listening to tales about the fact she did get through it, well it helped to know there was hope still. That there was still yellow daffodils, still hope, still people who cared. I still wore the mockingjay pin at all times and the locket was around my neck unless hunting but even then I kept it in the pocket of my game bag. Just like my fathers jacket and my mothers hairgrip, they were things I carried with me that reminded me of those I'd loved and lost in one way or another.

"Here Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty!" Johanna's voice came from the now open front door and I tried not to throw the knife that was in my hand straight at her head.

"Stop calling me that!" I got out through gritted teeth, she just smirked and perched on the kitchen counter.

"Not hunting today?" I just shook my head and sighed, used to her subject changes.

"Yes I am but right now I'm trying to make myself a lunch." It was only another fifteen minutes before I was ready. Game bag slung over my shoulder, arrows on my back and bow in hand but as I opened the front door I stood dead in my tracks. It was raining which meant…

"Johanna did you walk here? In this?" When I looked over her it was obvious she had. Her clothes were stuck to her and her hair was soaking. How had I not noticed before?

"Yup. I figured that I needed to help myself as well as you." She was proud and right to be, after being tortured in the Capitol with electric shocks over her wet body she had a terrible fear of water and now she was getting better. I ran over and hugged her, not caring about getting wet because I was so darn proud of her. She returned the hug before pushing me back.

"Still hunting?" She nodded to the downpour outside and I smiled and nodded.

"The rain is one of the best times to hunt, more animals come out for the fresh water." She still seemed a little wary but didn't once complain or even act out of sorts as we trudged through the downpour. As we reached the woods she seemed to calm down even more, hardly any of the water could make its way through the tightly packed leaves.

I managed to shoot two rabbits straight in the eye and smiled proudly when I put them in my game bag. It wasn't the first time I'd hunted since being back, I had begun going out every morning at the start of Johanna's second week here. She'd become restless staying in the Victors Village with me in District 12, she wanted to be around the trees, like when she was home and so I took her to the lake house about an hours trek from the gate where I used to spend time with my father before the accident.

When we reached the lake I was a little shocked, I hadn't even realised it was where I had been heading but Johanna did and she turned me to her before speaking softly.

"I'm going to get changed, I'll leave some clothes out for you so you can get out of those wet ones." I nodded back at her, I wasn't too fussed about having wet clothes but she knew I needed some time to myself. It was still hard to get past all the deaths, even those as long ago as my fathers but I knew eventually it would get easier. It had to. I spotted the lake, the constant stream of water pouring into it created ripples even now when it had to push through leaves and I found myself running head long towards it and jumping in. It was freezing but I wanted it, I wanted to swim in it even though the cold had my teeth chattering, I kept diving under and coming back up watching the fish swim quickly as far away as they could in the enclosed space. For a while I found myself content and wanted to stay here forever, just letting the water wash over and under me, letting it carry me where it could but I had to get out before I caught pneumonia and so I did. Trudging to the wooden door and stripping as I did. Once inside I found the fire going and plonked down in front of it and laid my dripping clothes beside me letting them dry.

Johanna and I sat watching the fire with a cup of hot chocolate each, I had changed into the clothes Johanna left me once I'd dried off, shoving my own in the game bag with the rabbits, and the rain was starting to lighten up and once it did I donned my game bag and left. Johanna stayed there instead of returning with me for dinner, I think she wanted time to herself as well as I did. On the way back a deer was sniffing around a bush and I shot her, once again straight in the eye. I was prouder than I had been in a long time. This was my first big kill in a year and with a triumphant grin I placed it over my shoulders and carried it back to the Victors Village to clean it up before trading her but as soon as I got to the top of the short road my feet stopped, rooted to the ground. There stood Peeta looking up at his house, which just so happened to be next door to mine. I don't know how but he sensed my gaze and turned his blue eyes on me. Eyes once filled with love were swimming with nothing but hate as he made a step toward me, I instinctively dropped the deer and stood preparing for an attack. I wasn't disappointed. As soon as he were close enough to leap on me, he did. I refused to harm him and make the memories that were planted in his head seem based more on truth than what they were so instead I dodged and spun away from him, continuing to duck away from the fist that was aimed straight at my face, this only seemed to infuriate him more and so I tackled him to the ground. He was strong, far stronger than me and so I straddled his stomach and used all the upper body strength and adrenaline I had to pin his hands to the ground before trying to calm him.

"Shh. Peeta Shh. It's okay, it's okay." He was yelling and thrashing which was a complete opposite to the soothing sound my own voice had taken.

"You left me to fend for myself against the mutts in the Arena. Real or not real?" He spat at me, I knew it wasn't his fault but I was struggling not to snap back. Instead I kept my voice calm and spoke as if we were still those kids in the arena, when he was himself and I wasn't a cold blooded killer.

"Not real." He only got angrier and struggled more.

"LIAR!" I didn't know what to do so I did the only thing I could. I did the only thing I remember slightly calming him when he was in isolation. I sang.

"_Are you, are you, coming to the tree_

_Where they strung up a man_

_They say murdered three_

_Strange things did happen here_

_And stranger would it be_

_If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree." _

His thrashing became less aggressive and I knew I was on the right track and so I continued to sing.

"_Are you, are you, coming to the tree_

_Where the dead man called out_

_For his love to flee_

_Strange things did happen here_

_Stranger would it be_

_If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree"_

The birds stopped singing and went silent. However I didn't revel in the fact they responded to my voice as they had my father, it just made me incredibly sad and it showed in my voice. Giving more sorrow to the already sad song. Peeta had stopped struggling now but the hate in his eyes was still there and I carried on.

"_Are you, are you, coming to the tree_

_Where I told you to run_

_So we'd both be free_

_Strange things did happen here_

_Stranger would it be_

_If we met up at midnight_

_In the hanging tree." _

The fire in his eyes dimmed and he just looked at me as if to cry but I couldn't stop now, something was pushing me to continue and so I sang the last verse looking straight into his eyes.

"_Are you, are you, coming to the tree_

_Wear a necklace of rope_

_Side by side with me_

_Strange things did happen here_

_And stranger would it be_

_If we met up at midnight_

_In the hanging tree."_

And then as the last note died on my lips and the mockingjays started to sing my song I leant down and gently kissed Peeta, letting go of his limp arms as I did so to stroke his face. It was a silly foolish thing to do because seconds later he had me on my back and was snarling in my face before crashing my head into the ground, I heard more yelling just before blacking out.


	3. Chapter 3

When I woke up my head was pounding and it was different eyes looking into mine. No longer was it blue, swarming with undiluted hatred. Instead they were grey seam eyes and connected to Gale's old friend from the short time he worked in the mines, Thom.

"Katniss? You alright?" I grunted out something that sounded like a yes but I wasn't too sure. He just chuckled at me.

"Now that was a sight to see? Can't believe anyone could get the upper hand on you, not even a boy with that strength." I just chuckled with him because I knew I had to laugh it off or else I would just cry. He wasn't better, he still hated me and there was nothing I could do to change it. My chuckle turned into a sob and it was all I could do to blink the tears back.

"Ahh, come on Katniss. Don't cry. It's the first time he's seen you in a while. He'll have to get used to having you around again." I nodded knowing that a part of it was true but not being able to fully believe the words. A sudden clatter forced me to turn my throbbing head in the direction of a drunken Haymitch making his way over, when he got to me he plonked down beside where I was sat. His bottle of liquor in hand.

"You know something?" His voice was slurred and I was prepared for a lecture about me being stupid with Peeta.

"What?" My voice was wary but what he said next shocked the hell out of me.

"This floor is no way near as comfy as it looked." I couldn't help but laugh and Thom did the same, Haymitch just looked at us as though we were retarded before grunting. In that moment I knew what I wanted to do and the reason for it was so silly that I thought there was an actual possibility that the amount of head injuries had fucked up my good sense. I wanted to get drunk with my old Mentor and so without further thought I grabbed his bottle and downed the last few swigs in it, he glared at me and then pointed to Thom.

"Go grab the bag I left on my doorstep son." Surprisingly Thom did, probably thinking Haymitch wasn't in any shape to walk anywhere.

"What up this time, sweetheart? Last time you got drunk with me the Quarter Quell had been announced and lover boy broke up our little party." I snorted, starting to feel a little fuzzy from drinking the burning liquid so quickly.

"Lover boy _is_ what happened." It didn't bother me as much right now because when I was around a drunken Haymitch, things seemed normal. At least normal enough to stop any new thought trickling in.

"Ah." Just then Thom jogged up, bottles clanking together in the bag before setting them on Haymitch's lap and sitting on the other side of me. Never one to say no to drinking partners Haymitch gave Thom and I a bottle each and the three of us drank and laughed and got pretty damn hilarious. I found out how Thom had yanked Peeta off me and once realising what he'd done, Peeta ran away to his house. It made me laugh and I had no idea why. Well I did. It was because of the alcohol but I was enjoying myself too much to care. We must have sat there for a couple of hours because it was now dark and we were all still drinking and then Thom burst into an old jolly song which I couldn't help join in with and Haymitch did too, our voices together were terrible and it was all we could do not to laugh, the way the words slurred together made it even more hilarious.

"_What will we do with a drunken sailor_

_What will we do with a drunken sailor_

_What will we do with a drunken sailor_

_Early in the morning."_

Thom and I pointed at Haymitch who was trying to look innocent and failing miserably.

"_Way hay and up she rises_

_Way hay and up she rises_

_Way hay and up she rises_

_Early in the morning."_

Thom and Haymitch stood pulling me with them as we danced around the Victor Village and continued to sing what I remember my father referring to as an old Sea Shanty.

"_Shave his belly with a rusty razor _

_Shave his belly with a rusty razor_

_Shave his belly with a rusty razor _

_Early in the morning."_

We were outside my house and I think we were going to head in there but Thom started twirling me around and passing me to Haymitch, back and forth, back and forth as we went on, forgetting about the _other_ resident here.

"_Way hay and up she rises_

_Way hay and up she rises_

_Way hay and up she rises –"_

For some reason the pair stopped twirling me and singing but I didn't notice till I sang the last line.

"_Early in the morning."_

Then I broke into a fit of giggles and landed my ass back on the floor. I couldn't see between Haymitch and Thom's legs in front of me but they were no longer merry and staggering about so something must have caused them to go into protective mode. So trying not to giggle I pulled myself up using them as support to see Peeta stood at his doorway. Hair a mess and a scowl on his face, that was all I could see before I started giggling again at the way his hair looked.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Peeta was angry but at least it wasn't just with me this time.

"Easy boy." I chuckled at Haymitch's reference to him being a boy when he looked very much like a man now. A very angry one.

"Last time Katniss got drunk with you I told you I would get your supply cut off. Real or not real?" My mouth seemed to be very big when I was drunk.

"Real. That one's real." I started to twirl around unaware of the current tension in the air as Peeta shoved Haymitch and Thom out of his way before taking my arm and dragging me into my house. My lonely cold, dark, house. I should have been scared to be alone with Peeta after earlier but looking at him now, the way he stared at me with shame and pity and sorrow and other things I couldn't place, showed me he was my Peeta and so when he sat me down on the sofa I pulled him down with me and snuggled up to his side. After resisting for a few moments he put his arm around me and whispered in my ear.

"I gave you that locket. Real or not real." There was a small smile on his face and I was sure he knew himself that it was real.

"Real. You gave it to me when you tried convincing me to let you go and keep myself alive. I still said no and I stand by it, even now." He touched his forehead to mine and sighed.

"What am I going to do with you?" His question made me giggle and my answer was stupid but underneath the humour I could feel that my answer was something I truly wanted.

"Love me." I looked into his eyes and saw a war in them but not the war of old and new Peeta. A war between what he should say.

"I already love you, Katniss. How could I not?" My mind was a little clearer now and my words were less slurred but my mental filter was gone.

"Because I'm bad for people. You're better off without me, everyone is. That's why my mom and Gale left me, isn't it? Because I destroy lives?" Tears leaked down my face and Peeta was crying too.

"No, Katniss, no. Never think that. You're amazing, and beautiful and strong and such a good person." I wondered how much longer I could keep Peeta with me. Like this. Like the loving, friendly person I had let into my heart and started to love with all I had in me at the time and even though a lot of me was broken, I found the pieces starting to fit back together where he had ripped another hole. How could he love me? I'm a monster.

"I don't feel like I am. Not anymore. I'm a killer, even though I don't mean or want to be." He started to tense up and shake. I knew what was coming. Even in my drunken state and I wasn't surprised when he stood and started backing away towards the door.

"Don't leave me, please. I need you." I sounded so fragile at that point and I realised how true those last three words were. It wasn't Gale I needed to survive, it was Peeta.

"I'm sorry. I can't. I'm sorry." And then he was gone and I succumbed to the blackness that was waiting for me, along with the horrors of sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Thankfully my head wasn't too bad the next morning but that might have been because I took some morphling in the night after a nightmare, unfortunately I could remember everything about the night before, including my conversation with Peeta after getting drunk with Haymitch. It was that moment I remembered forgetting the deer at the top of the street when Peeta attacked me so without further thought I walked to the door ready to check if it was still there and if it was actually edible after being out in the street for the night but as I opened the door I noticed that a basket was placed on my doorstep. Warily I brought it into the house and opened it as if something were going to jump out but inside was several reseal-able bags of meat and a note.

_Katniss,_

_I'm sorry for everything yesterday; both for freaking out and hurting you and leaving you alone last night. I thought I'd try and make it up to you so went and picked up your deer last night and cleaned it up for you. It was a good shot, straight through the eye like always. _

_Peeta_

I allowed myself a small smile even though tears stung in my eyes at this simple gesture. I had to do something. I knew it but I wasn't sure what. All I knew was that I couldn't ignore Peeta like I had planned because even though he still had issues and may possibly try to kill me he was my Peeta; charming, friendly, bold, smart, brave, loving, caring, selfless, funny, sweet, gentle, strong and steady. He was the boy who was there when I needed him and saved my life more than once, the least I can do is try to save him from his hijacked mind. I kept telling myself it was just me repaying him for all he'd done for me but there was a nagging feeling in the back of my head telling me it was because I needed him, because I loved him, but like every other thought created by emotion I ignored it.

"Knock knock." I spun towards the door and saw Johanna walking across the threshold, I immediately ran to her and threw my arms around her. She just stood there for a minute not moving before awkwardly patting me on the back.

"What's happened Katniss?" I just sort of made a sound somewhere between a grunt and a sob before she sat me down, and waited patiently for an answer.

"Peeta's back." I had calmed down and sort of went numb so I could tell her without breaking down.

"I know I saw him through the window when I was outside. What happened when you saw him?" She was all facts when referring to Peeta's return but her demeanour changed to concerned friend when she asked me about it.

"I saw him yesterday after coming back from the lake. I'd shot a deer and had it over my shoulders. Once I was at the top of the street I saw him and stopped. He saw me and he… his eyes… he wasn't _him_, he was what they made him." I started to hyperventilate and she calmed me down, stroking my back.

"It's not his fault Katniss. You know that. What happened then?" I took another deep breath. She was right about it not being his fault, I knew that and yet it didn't change the fact of how he reacted, still will sometimes. It wasn't the first time he had struck out at me and I was pretty damn sure it wouldn't be the last.

"Then he ran at me and went to tackle me, we both sort of danced around each other. Him throwing punches and I dodged them. In the end I tackled him to the ground and he started asking me 'real or not real' and when I answered him he was shouting that I was a liar and I sang since it sort of broke through to him in district 13 and he started to relax. When I stopped we looked at each other and then I… like an idiot I…" I was struggling to admit my stupid actions to Johanna but she just looked at me entranced in the story, really waiting for the next line. I couldn't carry on but as I went to tell her as much she figured it out on her own.

"You kissed him, didn't you?" I just nodded and she started to laugh, snorting she was laughing so hard. I groaned and covered my face with my hands before she moved them, still chuckling.

"It's not that bad. Still it was stupid you're right about that much. What did he do?" She was a good friend even if she did find my misfortune amusing.

"He freaked out again and smacked my head off the floor, knocking me out." She was laughing even harder then and I had to laugh with her at the pure stupidity of the situation, once she had regained control she turned to me, almost serious but not quite being able to conceal her smile.

"Well, he didn't kill you. That's a start." I just rolled my eyes, not sure if he wouldn't of if not for being stopped.

"An old friend of mine, Thom, stopped him and as soon as he realised what happened he went home and I ended up getting drunk with Thom and Haymitch."

"Ahh the drown your sorrows style. Personally that used to work with me until the bitch learnt to swim." I started laughing again. It was crazy. One minute I was close to breaking point because the reality of the situation came crashing down and the next I couldn't not laugh at my silly, aggressive and yet fiercely loyal friend.

"It gets better." Which was true, up until the end it _was_ better but even the way he left could have been worse.

"Ooh. Do tell." With a small smile on my face from the memory I carried on to explain.

"Well, we started to head to my house singing some old sea shanty about a drunken sailor forgetting about Peeta living next door and the noise level, next thing I knew I was on my arse, Haymitch and Thom were in front of me stood shoulder to shoulder and in defensive mode, I've pulled myself up and saw Peeta on his door step, furious of course but not because of the hijacking because of all things that I was _drunk_ and he'd threatened to have Haymitch's supply cut off last time, so when he figured no one was explaining anything he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the house and we snuggled up on the sofa." Johanna made to barf at the cuteness of it making me stop and laugh at her antics.

"Go on…" She seemed wary to find out what happened next and I blushed at what I was sure she imagined.

"Well we were talking and he told me he still loved me, anyway I went into a rant about how I'm responsible for my friends and families deaths and he started to shake and we both knew he was about to have an episode so he left. I asked him to stay but he wouldn't. I mean it was probably for the best if he was going to try and fight me being as I'm not the most coordinated when drunk. Anyway I remembered this morning that I had left the deer at the top of the Victors Village but when I went to retrieve it I saw that Peeta had got it and cleaned it and cut it up before putting it in a basket for me." She seemed unsure of what to say. After telling her out loud it sounded silly, the way I was reacting as though he had done something huge when it was a little thing, but it's the little things that make me realise what a good person he is.

"So what now? You going to thank him or sit here and pretend it never happened?" She expected the latter and that was obvious.

"I was thinking about making him dinner… You can come if you want. And Haymitch." She rolled her eyes at me and I laughed at the expression on her face.

"Okay, invite him over for dinner. Yes. Invite Haymitch and I'll kick your ass. You need to spend some time alone with Peeta so he knows your not afraid of him and that you still care about him. Even if you refuse to believe your in love with him –" Cutting her off with that final statement was probably what she expected but who cares.

"I'm not in love with him, Johanna." She just looked at me with an 'I told you so' expression and without much more conversation she left; leaving me to my thoughts and to my invitation.

Half an hour later I had packed my bag with all but three pieces of venison; one for Peeta to take home and two for our dinner tonight, if he agreed that is. Without further thought I left my house and headed next door to Peeta's, I could see his silhouette through his kitchen window, he looked to be making bread but I wasn't all that sure and I didn't stand there looking long enough to watch because knowing my luck he would turn around and then think I was a weirdo for watching him. I knocked on his front door and waited, knowing he would have to clean his hands up so when he opened the door I was waiting patiently instead of tacking my foot and getting annoyed like I probably would any other time.

"Katniss?" He seemed surprised at seeing me and the confidence I had started to diminish which is why I found myself back peddling.

"I'm sorry. Is this a bad time? I can come back? Or not." I started to babble and so snapped my mouth shut before I could make even more of a fool out of myself than I already had. Peeta shook his head and invited me in, I followed him into the kitchen in silence, not knowing where to start.

"Is there any particular reason you came over or just looking for some company?" I was shocked at his question and tried not to take it as an accusation.

"I wanted to thank you for cleaning up the deer and I was just wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight." He stared at me in shock and I made an effort not to look as bothered about his answer as I was. On one hand I wanted him to say no as I was pretty sure it would probably be awkward but another part, a bigger part of me wished for him to agree. I was tired of eating alone and I honestly did want Peeta's company, he was sweet and friendly, and everything I needed at the minute.

"Erm… yeah okay. I thought I might have scared you away yesterday." I laughed and shook my head, thankful that I was able to think of something to say back.

"When was the last time I got scared away from something or someone?" He laughed with me and shrugged understanding that I tended to run towards danger more than away from it.

We spoke a little longer and I told him to come over about seven before I left to the market, it was a lot like the hob but out in the open instead of hidden away and people weren't as afraid to be there, even if a lot of the people were a little intimidating still. There was also the fact of how many less people now worked there after most decided to stay away and a lot of others were killed. Either way I sold the rest of my venison to Greasy Sae for a fair amount of money, telling her that i would be cooking for Peeta tonight which she was both shocked and happy about, and bought some stuff for dinner tonight.


End file.
